One of the reasons I am so passionate about my faith is because I am confident that Yeshua is real and that YHWH is the ONE TRUE GOD. My confidence is not based on what the Baptist, AME, non-denominational Word, non-denominational Grace, non-denominational Prophetic, non-denominational Vineyard, or any other church I have been a part of has taught me. My confidence is based on my personal search and study of Scripture and my personal experiences as directed by the Spirit of GOD.
My mother challenged me for as long as she lived, she pushed me to understanding the why. My mother never discouraged me from attending church, because of her lead rolls in various political organizations she knew quite a few church and political leaders as well as media personalities. Her knowledge of the “behind the scenes realities” of both church and state gave her a healthy skepticism of both organization which she past on to me. I was taught: the message may be correct but the messenger is flawed.
ROMANS 3:23
for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
I did not understand, resented much, why my mother was so critical of various church leaders until I became active in the ministry. People did not understand why I would leave a church in which I was serving so actively in. How can I submit to the church authority when I discover the Pastor is a manipulator and has no respect for the people he is supposed to shepherd? How can I give my heard earning money to an organization that is supposed to preach and teach God’s commandments while ignoring transgressions he or she knows exist within the body associated with the church they lead.
My mother taught me that my faith was not based on her opinion. There are people who do not grow spiritually because they are part of a church in which they: do not attend service regularly, do not pay attention to what is being said while in attendance, do not like the style of service, or do not like the leader; they associate with the church because it is what their family did or they think this is what God wants them to do. My mother taught me: My relationship with YHWH is personal and not based on a building in which a group of people attend or a man that speaks from a stage.
I know there is ONE GOD because of my personal experiences. I obtained victory over an abusive marriage; I celebrated, as painful as it was, the graduation from earth to eternity of my first born child- my only son; filing bankruptcy was the easiest financial hardship that I have had to overcome, of which there were many; the health attacks, the rejections, and other adversities I have endured over the decades are minor afflictions.
2 TIMOTHY 4:5 THE COMPLETE JEWISH BIBLE
But you, remain steady in every situation, endure suffering, do the work that a proclaimer of the Good News should, and do everything your service to God requires.
Do I believe that YHWH put all these obstacles in my path? No! Was He aware of my troubles, my pain, my sorrows, my distress? Yes! But I can look back and see how He moved in my life to get me through every storm.
As I move forward I step cautiously- I don’t want to be one of those people who just went even though they were not sent. BUT just as the call to write came to me there is a call to obtain a title. Why YHWH wants me to be a Pastor, if that is indeed what He is saying (I am still not certain), I don’t know. I understand that there is a direct relation between the obstacles I have endured and the assignments YHWH has given me.
JEREMIAH 20:9
Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him, Nor speak anymore in His name.” But His word was in my heart like a burning fire Shut up in my bones; I was weary of holding it back, And I could not.
Years ago YHWH told me not to pursue a title, I did not. In the years since: I have learned quite a bit, adjusted my attitude towards others and myself, and developed a strong desire to please Him and help people see what I see. Currently, there are so many ifs in my life that I can not say with natural certainty that I will be where I am sitting right now this time next year or even next month. But because of what I have experienced I know that GOD knows and that gives me peace.
JEREMIAH 29:11I remember all of this as I blindly move forward, the one thing I do know I will perish if I do nothing.
For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.
YOU ARE THE SUM TOTAL OF YOUR EXPERIENCES AND
HOW YOU RESPONDED TO THEM.
1 CORINTHIANS 1:18
For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.
1 CORINTHIANS 4:10
We are fools for Christ’s sake, but you are wise in Christ! We are weak, but you are strong! You are distinguished, but we are dishonored!
Where am I going? I have no idea! written by Marsha L F Randolph
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